So I’m staying home, and the quick answer why is to prepare for marriage.
But that doesn’t mean I’m spinning my wheels waiting for a husband.
Part of my theology for not going to college comes from 1 Corinthians 7.
“I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.”
Paul says the married woman has to worry about how to please her husband. The unmarried woman is anxious (I think in this case Paul means “longing”) to be holy in body and spirit.
The past years of my life have been filled with worry (I don’t use worry as fretting here, but more as what is taking up most of my time and thought) over schoolwork. At the end of last year, there was a choice – to continue with schoolwork, or to change course.
I had no desire for the standard ways of further education through university. My long-term desire is to marry and raise a family. We believe this is biblical; the pattern of scripture shows a woman’s realm is the home.
So I have this desire, but it’s not time for it to be fulfilled yet. What do I do until then?
The unmarried woman is anxious to be holy. Her cares are for Christ and His kingdom. This isn’t to say that marriage will hinder pursuit of Christ and working in His Kingdom. Not at all! Much sanctification happens in marriage, and one of the purposes of marriage is to have and raise godly offspring, furthering the kingdom of God.
But right now, when my wordly cares are light, I should be taking the time to pursue Christ.
As a woman who wants a man to lead, I shouldn’t be running after a man. I want my focus in these years to be on Christ – I want to run after Christ.
There have been so many things I’ve wanted to do with these “in between” years. I think I’m going to call them fruitful years. There are so many options. I can’t do them all. I’m still teaching piano this year, but I think this is going to be my last year of teaching, because it puts a time constraint on me – I can’t go live with a family for a week or a month and help them. I can’t just up and travel with daddy somewhere, or cook dinner at a quick change of plans. Part of my pursuit of holiness includes preparing for the practical aspects of running a home by helping other moms – learning patience, time management, etc. Knowing how to tune pianos will be a blessing to people in the Church, and hopefully save money – and in the process of learning how to tune, I’m learning tenacity. I’m learning to pray while I work, learning to hear/see a little scripture and grab onto it to meditate on it. I can help mamas have time to pursue holiness and at the same time learn from them – learn from their experience, both practical home life and spiritual wisdom (which go together).
Whether you’re at home or away from home, pursue holiness above all. That will be what lasts. I’ve been reading “Preparing to be a Helpmeet,” and Mrs. Pearl often talks about this. Even though we may really want to be married, Christ is more important. Run after Christ, and He’ll bring a husband when we’re ready. And if our eyes are on Christ, the easier it is to guard our hearts, and the easier it will be to find someone who is also pursuing Christ.
“Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it.”
PS – Cait and Joel’s wedding is tomorrow! And how fitting that I posted this now… because they’re great examples of people who are seeking holiness! 🙂